Will you stay or will you go?
by Peanut Butter Rules
Summary: Would it be better if Yato and Yukine went separate ways? {I don't own Noragami} *SPOILERS!*
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya!**

**I know I should probably be working on my other stories but I'm way too obsessed with Noragami.**

**...**

***Spoilers!***

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_Pain..._

_..._

_Pain..._

_..._

_Pain..._

_..._

That was all he felt.

_Just a whole lot of pain._

Yato clutched his side, his skin burning as the purple blight continued to spread across his already frail body. His eyes were clenched shut from the intense pain.

Never before had he ever been hurt this badly. It was nothing like the cuts and bruises and broken bones he had acquired over the years. This was ten – no, one hundred – times worse. His insides burned as if he was burning from the inside out.

"I did nothing wrong!" Yato heard Yukine shout. "I'm not the one to blame!"

Yato coughed out more blood as a large hideous eyeball bloomed on Yuki's shoulder.

"It's because we're dead!" Yuki screamed "Why do _they_ get to have everything!" Yato and the others knew Yuki was talking about the humans.

The god gave a strangled scream as Yuki continued to transition into a phantom, more eyeballs spreading like a virus. Yato managed to squeeze open one of his eyes. His vision, as blurry as it was, managed to capture Yuki's figure.

Dark wings had sprouted from his eyeball-covered back. His hands had morphed into large claws and were scratching desperately at the borderlines, unable to get past them. Those sparkling white teeth had turned into sharp, yellow fangs. And his skin had turned dry and flaky.

"Confess!" Daikoku shouted to Yuki.

Yukine growled and titled his head towards the ground, hiding his young face, and pressed his palms against the borderlines. "Everyone should be just like me…" Yato's heart almost stopped then and there when Yuki's head suddenly shot up to reveal a dark, phantom eye. He snarled, "And _die_!"

His wings grew larger and his claws grew sharper. His feet left the ground as his wings flapped up and down. A pained, strangled roar flew out of his throat. "Die! Die! Die!"

Dimly, the Yato god heard Kazuma order Daikoku to change into his Koki form and slay Yuki. He opened his mouth to yell "no" but couldn't gather the energy to do so. He was slightly relieved when Daikoku refused. But the relief quickly vanished when the blight spread under his shirt and across his chest.

He convulsed in pain and coughed out blood once again. He didn't have to see it to feel the blight taking over Yukine's red mark on the smaller boy's collarbone. _I gave you that mark, Yuki,_ Yato thought, _You want it gone that badly? _As if he were underwater, Yato could barely hear Maya yell something about that same mark.

The young boy screamed and threw himself at the borderlines. "Die!"

Yato winced as Yuki's pain and misery increased, sending painful shocks down the back of the god's neck. He didn't have the strength to move anymore. He was in pain yet numb at the same time. The god just laid there like a rag doll. Blood trickled down his mouth and stained his sports jersey. Both of his eyes were looking straight at the ablution site but he wavered on the border between focused and unfocused. He could feel his shinki's fear as if it were his own.

Yato recognized the fear.

It was the fear of being _alone_. The fear of being _forgotten_ and _ignored_, the fear of being there but not really _there_, the feelings of _loneliness_ and the feelings of _anger_.

All of those things, Yato had felt before. All of those things had forced him to accept all the wishes and requests of the humans around him in order to survive and only get five yen in return. All of those things had encouraged him to _kill_, to do anything to survive. In fact, he _still_ held that fear. He didn't want to disappear.

He was a minor god. Therefore, it was impossible for him to stay in people's memories. Those who managed to see him, would forget him after a day or two. If he hadn't done what he did all those years ago, he would've been forgotten and ceased to exist.

Now, he still relied on human wishes but he was only getting enough to barely survive. He wasn't as strong as he was in the past when he still killed others.

Personally, he thought Yukine was lucky. Yukine _doesn't_ have to fear being forgotten, abandoned by the whole world for thousands and _thousands_ of years. He _doesn't_ have to fear possible being forgotten when he was no longer needed. He _doesn't_ have to worry about disappearing. Yukine could still roam the earth or just become another god's shinki.

In reality, the only thing both Yato and Yukine really wanted was a friend. Yato knew this, which was one of the reasons why he fell for Yuki "at first sight." When Yuki started to sting him, he could've just killed the boy, but he didn't. Yato had grew to care for Yuki even though the stubborn boy may not see it.

A sharp pain in his neck brought Yato back into reality. His eyes focused on the mark he gave Yuki. The red symbol was disappearing. Fear clenched his heart. If he didn't do something now, Yukine would be gone forever in a world of torture. _I need... I need to c-call... his name... I need to... before... before he d-disappears..._ Yato opened his mouth but no sound came out. Memories flashed through his mind. Memories showing how he grew to care for the blonde boy.

Yato could see his shinki walking away, away from him and down the path to becoming a full-fledged phantom. _I... need to... call his name... before... h-he crosses to... to the other s-side... _But his voice refused to listen to him. _I need to call... his name! _ But he couldn't do it. He watched in horror as Yukine's mark faded until all you could see were faint lines.

His eyes began to flutter shut and he knew death was right around the corner. In his mind, he could still see his shinki walking down that horrid path. _Call... his name... _Just when Yato was about to give in to the pain, a female voice broke through his haze.

"Yukine-kun!"

It was Hiyori.

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**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiya!**

**I want to thank Master Li for reviewing and for pointing out that in the last chapter, I refered to Hiyori as Hiyorin. I fixed it, now. Sorry!**

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It _hurt_.

...

It _stung_.

...

It _burned_.

...

Yuki repeatedly threw himself against the borderlines. "Let me out!" he screamed. "Let me out, damn it!" But the other shinkis did not relent.

"Yukine!" Daikoku shouted, "Confess! What did you do wrong? What sins have you committed? Confess it all!"

The blonde's eyes turned blood red. "Shut up! I swear, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you all!" Yuki fell to his knees and his back bent over in an arc. Red, bat-like wings emerged from his back. The boy screamed. He was in pain… but it felt good.

**Yesss… you're doing great…** _a_ voice whispered in his ear.

Kazuma said, "No good, he's transforming into a phantom."

The other shinkis acknowledged this and they all quickly shrank the borderline cage, hoping that the pain would hopefully knock some sense into the Yato's shinki. They flinched as Yuki screamed. It was not a normal scream. It sounded hoarse and hollow as if there was another voice overlapping it.

"I did nothing wrong!" Yuki shouted over the squealing of the eyeballs embedded in his back. His wings flapped on their own, ramming his body into the borderlines. "I'm not the one to blame!"

**Yesss… you've done nothing wrong… nothing at allll… It's their fault…. All their fault…**

Yukine screamed in pain. "What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing!" He didn't notice a large eyeball appear on his shoulder.

"Confess, Yukine!"

"All this… All this because of some loose change?" He roared, though it was more of a statement than a question." He scoffed. "Yeah, I swiped stuff; I stole stuff; I broke stuff. But so what?" He leaned against the borderline and looked into Daikoku's eyes. "But you guys understand too! It's because we're dead!" Of all people, he had thought the other shinkis would understand.

**Nooo… they're toooo weak… toooo weak to understand… too weak think for themselves…. The godsss, their mastersss, have changed them… their mastersss manipulated them… Your god manipulated youuu…**

Yuki continued to speak, "But not _them._ _They_ get to have it all!" Those humans, always taking things for granted, always having everything that poor Yukine wanted. Friends, family, education, memories, a life, a future…. "Why don't I get anything?" They get to have it all!

**And they lefffft you behind in the dusssst…. Theyyy can't ssseee you… They complain about their lives… They take it allll for granted… They don't deserve it at all….**

"Why do I get nothing!" Yukine charged at his glowing prison only to ricochet off and back onto the ground.

**You're alone…**

"That's right. I'm actually all alone."

His mind flickered back to the time when he had run away from Hiyori's house and had coincidentally met Yato's stray Nora. She talked to him and she complimented his eyes. And for the first time in a really long time, he felt a little satisfied to be around somebody who was a shinki just like him – even if it was Yato's former shinki - and would talk to him instead of _through_ him. He was satisfied until she looked straight into his "really pretty eyes" and said compared them to the withering hawthorn fruits swaying in the breeze. _"You poor boy,"_ she said. For some strange reason, her words angered him. And it had felt good releasing his anger on the windows of the school.

"So what if I stole it all? I have no one… I am a nobody… I have nothing… nothing at all."

**That's not trueee… Come with usss… we'll make you happyyy… Don't you want to be happyyy?**

"I want to be… I just wanted to be happy!" He glared at Tomone and he swore he saw her gulp in fear. He smiled. That _fear_… It was _delicious_…

"For your sake, please confess, Yukine!"

"Confess," Daikoku roared.

The said boy glared at everyone around his cage. When his eyes fell on Yato, his anger increased tenfold.

**It's all his fault, that minor god. It's his fault; he made you this way. It his fault that nobody can sssee you or talk to you. He is the reason for your feelings of loneliness and sadness… Instead of raising you up, he's dragging you down…**

Yuki growled, "Everybody should be just like me…."

**That's it… just let it go… let all your problems go…**

Yukine's head shot up to reveal his one phantom eye and his pained expression turned into one of hate and anger. "And die!" He screamed.

Tomone, Kazuma, and Daikoku flinched. The boy's once strong voice was overlapped by a deep phantom's voice.

"Die! Die! Die!"

The bat-like wings grew twice their size and pushed on the borderlines. His hands had morphed into sharp claws. His once pale skin had turned gray and flaky as if he was shedding. He felt the borderlines pulse but the pain felt remarkably addictive, like he couldn't get enough of it.

Kazuma shouted over the noise of the wind. "Daikoku, change into you're Kokki and slay him!"

**Ssseee? They're plotting against you… They want to kill you. They don't understand your pain… they're toooo weak… You're not like them… you're sstrong.**

"His mark," Tomone shouted as Yukine's blight spread past his shoulder and around his bright red mark. "If it get enveloped, it's all over!"

**Do you hear that? It's almost over. Soon, you'll get your revenge. You can kill them. You can kill Yato.**

Yuki smirked. He could feel the mark disappearing. He could taste freedom on his toungue. Yukine screamed in delight. "Die!"

**You're almossst there... Soon, all you'll feel is blisss...**

"Yukine-kun!"

He didn't have to look to know who said his name.

Hiyori ran up to the borderline. "Yukine-kun, don't cross to the other side! Don't become a phantom!"

Filled with anger, he launched himself at her, hitting the borderline, which pulsed and sent the girl flying away.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?" He screamed at her.

_Why should I listen to you? _ he thought. _You, Hiyori Iki, are only tool. You only provide me a place to stay, a bed, food, and a place away from that stupid jersey-loving god._

"Yato's still here for you, Yukine!" She continued to step forward. "Surely you've heard him too!"

**Don't lisssten to her.. She's trying to steal yourr freedom away from you. She's on Yato's side.**

"Remember? When you faced that butterfly phantom, he said, 'He might be a lousy little punk…but I found and named him. I'm going to reforge the Sekki!'" Hiyori was now so close that she was almost touching the barrier. "See, Yukine? Those words were almost like a father's!"

Whatever she said would've gone through one ear and out the other if it hadn't been for the very last word she said. Yuki gasped and did a double-take. _A… father's?_ Words ran marathons through his head.

_Friends…_

_Teachers…_

_Future…_

_Lives…_

_Family…_

_Sister…_

_Bother…_

_Mother…_

_…_

_Father…_

_…_

_Something he had always wanted._

**Can't you feel it? She's tricking you. She's stealing you rightful revenge. Don't listen to her!**

He wanted to obey the persuasive voice in his head… but he was also curious about Hiyori's words. He wanted to know what she meant and why she said that.

Tears flooded her eyes and Yuki felt a tiny – extremely tiny – pang of guilt. He had made her cry.

"Even when… Even when you kept hurting Yato, he kept on enduring it. He did it for _you_!"

_For me?_

**No! Don't be fooled by her words, you are stronger than this. You are stronger than she is. Yato's only a selfish god who only thinks of himself.**

She continued, "But if you're still going to betray someone like Yato," Her face flushed. "then we're not _friends_ anymore!"

"F-F-Friends…" he muttered.

**No, she's using you! Can't you see? She was never your friend in the first place.**

"No!" Yuki yelled, "Shut up! You're lying! You're tricking me!"

"I'm not, Yukine, please believe me!"

Another eyeball appeared on his stomach but he took no notice of it.

"Yukine!" cried another familiar voice, though in very much pain.

Yuki looked at the god laying on the ground covered in dark blueberry splotches that radiated pain.

Yato could barely lift up his head. "I-It is true... that you can't... interact with Near Shore people...on e-equal terms... anymore..."

**It's his fault. It's his fault that you can't interact with the humans anymore.**

The shinki felt anger fill his mind. "I'm alone because of you!" Yuki screamed.

"But..." Yato's voice cut through the haze. "But, Yukine...

**Remember, ... his fault...**

Yato struggle to lift his head "I-I granted you a person's name! So..." Cold blue eyes suddenly met flaming yellow. "So live as a person! Live, Yukine!"

_Live like a person..._

_Not a phantom..._

_A person... one of_ them.

**No! Yato is manipulating you! He's not to be trusted! Don't -**

But Yukine wasn't listening to the voice anymore. He was fed up with that stupid voice in his head. He wasn't going to become a phantom. He was not! He would live... live as a person!

Yato was right. Yukine would live.

The mark on his collarbone flashed so brightly that it put the sun to shame.

He thought back to the words Hiyori had said. _A father._ That meant that Yuki had betrayed his father, the first person who had held faith in him and trusted him. Without Yato, he would've been a wandering spirit just waiting to be devoured by the phantoms. Yato did so much for him only to receive so little in return.

Yato believed in Yuki. And how did the young shinki repay him? Yukie blighted him and even then, Yato still endured the pain without a complaint for his own wellbeing.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't look at Yato anymore... He was too ashamed of himself. "I-I...I... I'm sorry, Sensei." No longer was his voice overlapped by a phantom's.

It was back to normal. Tears streamed down his face. He could feel his wings disappearing and his feet touching the ground. "I-I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, sensei!" He managed to peel his eyes open and take in everyone's expressions.

Obviously knowing that they had lost, the phantom voices were fading away. But not before they could throw in their last two cents. **Remember this, Yukine. You'll always be alone... No matter what you do... No matter who your master is... you'll always be alone, shunned by the world.**

_No, that's not true. I'm not alone. _

**Don't try to lie to yourself. No one will want you as their shinki after this. Especially Yato. After all the trouble and pain you've caused them, why do you think he would still want you?**

_...The only thing I can do is hope for the best._

**And even if he does except your apology, do you really want to stay with him? He won't trust you again. He'll send wary glances your way when he thinks you're not looking. Afterall, he only uses you when he needs you. Nothing more and nothing less. And you know that I'm right. He will always be a minor god and that means that as long as you're his shinki, you'll be invisible as well. You'll have no place to live, no food, nice clothing... You're a boy without a home. You'll be alone forever. **

_Shut up..._

**You could blight him again. Yato doesn't need that, he needs a reliable shinki. You would have better luck without him. How could you bear to be around him knowing that you had betrayed him? Could you really be ready to go through all this pain again? Are really going to risk staying with him, hurting him?**

_I - I don't_ _know_... He thought when the voice went silent. He shook his head. He would worry about that afterwards, when this was over.

Now it was time for him to confess _everything_.

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**Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hiya!**

**Oooopsey daisey... I just realized that I've been mistaking Mayu's name with her former name Tomone. So, whenever you see "Tomone," just replace it with "Mayu."**

**:)**

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"I-I-I'm...I'm sorry, sensei!" Yukine cried as loud as he could.

But to Yato, it sounded as if he was submerged deep in water, unable to take a full breathe with out drowning in the coppery liquid in his mouth. However, he couldn't move. His limbs wouldn't listen to the messages his brain was sending him. His pain sensors had overblown causing his fingers to buzz with needle like pain.

He wanted it to stop _so...so badly_.

Yato couldn't hold on to reality on longer. Sleep was calling his name over and over and over again. He was afraid that if he didn't oblige, he would go crazy.

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He confessed all and every single sin he had committed.

Yukine sobbed throughout the remains of the purification ritual. All the while, his phantom characteristics had slowly disappeared.

His large wings melted and disappeared into the ground like polluted water. His claws morphed back into human fingers and his eye had turned back into its usual yellow color. His skin regained its healthy glow and the grayish color had faded away. His fangs had also reverted back into the healthy whites he had had before.

But the hardest features to get rid of were the spinning eyeballs embedded into his skin. They seemed to be all over his upper body and on the right half of his face. Yuki wrapped his arms around himself, enduring the pain of being purified. When his hands made contact with the many eyeballs on his arms and shoulders, he quickly retracted his hands and wiped the eyeball slime off onto his pants with a disgusted look. It took several hours, but finally, one by one, the eyeballs shriveled up and fell to the ground like dried prunes. One of them even screamed on the way down. His pain decreased with each phantom eye that that met its doom.

Though the process had been long and extremely painful, nothing felt more agonizing than the guilty feeling in Yukine's chest. He wanted nothing more than his master's forgiveness…but he didn't think he deserved it. After all the pain and stress he had forced upon Yato, Yukine knew he deserved to be hated and despised.

Yuki's divine punishment lasted into the early morning hours of the very next day.

When the boundary lines had finally disappeared, Yukine had been greeted by a beautiful sunrise. The sky was streaked with bright reds and oranges mixed in with a bit of plum purple like Yato's hair.

But now, wasn't the time to enjoy the view. They still had another matter on their hands.

Yukine stumbled to his feet. Pins and needles stabbed his legs as the blood began to circulated through his limbs. They felt as if somebody had chopped them off and then sowed them back on again. His body felt numb and thoroughly exhausted while his mind felt conflicted. He fell to one knee before getting back up again. Mayu offered her assistance but he refused. Half crawling, half stumbling, Yuki made his way towards the Yato god who was still on the ground surrounded by everyone else. Yukine's heart jumped up his throat when he saw the… the blood.

There was a lot of blood. Blood was lay in a large puddle surrounding the god. Yato's chin was still dripping in the wet liquid. His hands were also soaked. It seemed that during the ritual, the god had clawed at his chest in order to distract himself from the burning sensation of blight. The white tee-shirt under the jersey had been torn to shreds and dyed a dark cherry red. The small man looked thoroughly soaked to the bone and ... vulnerable.

However, the worst part was that the blight was _still there _and was _still spreading_. There was barely a patch of skin that Yuki could see that wasn't covered in the increasing impurity.

Yuki panicked, "Wha-what? Why does he still have blight? Why is it spreading?" His heartbeat sped up. He looked to Diakoku. "I thought-"

Daikoku cut him off. "Kofuku and I have never actually witnessed a purification ritual so we're still new to this. We only know what the other gods and shinkis tell us, which isn't a lot since it's an uncomfortable topic."

Yuki turned to Kazuma. "Kazuma, what do you think?"

The other shinki shook his head. "I don't really know either. Bishamon and the others had never really had to do a purification process before. And the ones that I had just happened to witness from afar never really worked out in the end. I'm sorry."

"Mayu?" the blonde begged. Yato's former regalia slowly shook her head. Yuki felt like crying all over again. "Why? I don't understand? I confessed! I confessed everything! Did I miss something? What did I miss?" He cried desperately.

"Perhaps we were too late…" Diakoku said with sorrowfully.

"W-what did I m-miss?" Yuki's voice craked.

"I'm sure you didn't miss anything," Kofuku said comfortingly without her usual enthusiasm. She reached out to hug him but was pulled back by Daikoku. "Wha-?"

"Don't touch him! He's still blighted!"

The younger shinki froze. "Wha?" He turned his head around, trying to view his back. And sure enough, there was a dark purple impurity on his back. It wasn't as big as before and only covered half of his back… but it was still spreading. "Ah!" He stepped away from the group so they wouldn't get infected by him. Tears streamed down his face once more.

He still had the blight. That meant that he missed something! He's the reason that Yato's still dying! "I don't understand!" He cried out, "I-I thought, I confessed everything" He held his head in his hands. "What did I miss? I don't understand!"

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**Yukine wants reviews to cheer himself up!**

**So...**

**Review!**


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